March 27, 2018

parenting styles for first, second and third borns

I wanted to have a chat about the difference in parenting for me when it comes to parenting my first, second and third babies.

We have all seen the comments, the memes and quotes about how mums wrap their first-born babies in cotton wool, are a tad more relaxed with the second and then the third baby ends up swaddled in a pair of leggings (seen that image?). Well, for me, it isn’t like that.

When Aston (my first) was a baby, I was the ultimate anxious and helicopter mum (I still am with him) who panicked at every snotty nose, who evacuated a café if someone coughed in the background and had him eating mush food for way longer than he needed to. Sometimes I wonder if this is the reason that Aston is quite an anxious child. I wrapped my first born in cotton-wool and I was proud of it and to this day, I still do everything for him. I will most likely be wiping his bum longer than I will for Freddie! (jokes! Maybe, no seriously jokes!)

With William, my second, I took the relaxed approach. I knew what I was doing and he was a super easy baby. Was he an easy baby because I was relaxed? Food for thought! I had learnt from hovering over Aston so much, when it was time to chill out with William and when to not chill out. When Will turned one year’s old, his personality really came out and we learnt that he was the wild one and when we were still focusing on protecting Aston, we actually had it all wrong and should have been wrapping little William up in that bag of cotton wool.

To this day, I find myself trying to be one step ahead of William, I often look like a psycho helicopter mum, chasing him and calling his name and knowing where he is at all times (often joking that he needs a GPS watch- not joking!) but I know my son and when someone (including Josh) says “He’ll be fine” when he goes out of sight, well I know that it takes one second for him to disappear around a corner, walk onto the road or chase a person walking a dog and it will be all too late. I think it is much easier for someone to say, “He will be fine, he’ll come back” and test Will, because maybe they want to prove to me that he will be ok? But, when you make, carry and give birth to that little human, you know it is not worth the risk. So, my number two child, is actually helicoptered until this day (for his own good).

Third child, Freddie, the one that is supposed to raise itself? Yeah nah, not for me. If anything, for my number three, he has received the first-class treatment from his mummy. The difference between the way I treat my first born compared to my third born, is that I am not anxious with Freddie, nor do I freak over things with him, yet, I am patient, I am enjoying it and taking everything one day at a time and not wanting to rush him or me. Freddie doesn’t have the third-time-hand-me-down clothes as you would expect a third boy would have, because once Will wore them, there was no chance they would make it to Freddie. Freddie doesn’t self-settle, like Will did, and that is fine, I am happy to rock him. I remember rocking Aston and getting really up tight and feeling so stressed over it, that he just never slept! My baby number three and me, are defying all memes, so when you decide to have multiple children, just ignore the quotes and expectations and do your own thing. Yes, your cat might be raising your youngest, that’s cool too, motherhood is unique and we just do what works for us, you, your family and nothing or nobody can ever define that as being wrong.

This is a sponsored post by Uniqlo and my boys wear their new winter light/warm padded jackets/parka which Will can run around in and Aston look super stylish in. It has double water-repellent coating and sheds rain and snow (we trailed this the other day!!! Works a treat!)

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